"GOT IT!” by Joan Craven – Communication Tips for Busy Caregivers

"GOT IT!” by Joan Craven – Communication Tips for Busy Caregivers 

by Lynn Greenblatt

[Image] 

By Serge Melki from Indianapolis, USA - Montréal - Les Chuchoteuses, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=24322941 

Effective communication is an essential skill in caregiving.  While we all write or speak to one another, we don’t always convey our intended message to others. All too often, family caregivers tend to refrain from coming forward with their requests for assistance.  Most likely, they have plenty to say – in their mind – but never get around to verbalizing their needs.  This lack of communication not only keeps well-intentioned and willing helpers from chipping in, but family caregivers can grow increasingly discouraged by the apparent lack of concern from family and friends. 

At other times, our perspective and the language that we use to express ourselves may sideline what we truly feel or may mask the real issue that we need to address. Joan Craven writes about interactions among people and presents practical steps to get our message across.  In her book, “GOT IT! 21 Communication Tips for Busy Impatient People,” Ms. Craven reminds us that we “are the boss of ourselves.”  We can choose to react negatively or we can choose to act in a constructive way to move past an obstacle.  She stresses how important it is that you “Think before you speak, be thoughtfully honest, and speak to others as you would a very dear friend.” Effective communication allows you to “build relationships,” inviting partners to walk alongside you.   

[Image]  https://www.amazon.com/-/he/Joan-Craven/dp/1609766903

“GOT IT!” is a concise and valuable book that family caregivers can use as a tool to build a supportive care team or to communicate important health issues to medical professionals.  With clear tasks and boundaries, everyone involved can focus on the chosen job and avoid misunderstandings or mistakes.  It also serves as a reminder that each one of us has the ability to choose the way we think – hopefully, it will be a belief system and proactive thinking that allow us to move forward beyond all obstacles. 

I have highlighted below some of the tips in GOT IT! and hope family caregivers put them to good use. 

• Speak up – people cannot read minds 
• Use facts while using “I” messages, rather than using accusatory “you” statements  (You always…) 
• Be a good listener & focus on the person with whom you speak 
• Be kind to yourself so you can be kind to others 
• No “could have” & “should have” 
• Model how you want to be treated and what you will / will not tolerate 
• Set realistic expectations and achievable goals 
• You don’t need to do it all 
• Do what you can at the moment without guilt 
• Family caregivers are in charge of their own time – surround yourself with supportive people 
• Don’t procrastinate 
• Don’t worry about things you cannot control – let go 
• Don’t complain – choose words carefully, be positive       

About the author 

“With over 25 years of experience in the communications industry, Joan Craven has seen first-hand the devastating consequences of poor communication and the transformative benefits of strong interpersonal and organizational communication. She believes that good communication is the ability to build strong relationships so people trust you, respect your opinions, listen to you and want to understand your point of view.”   

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Disclosure: 

Joan Craven graciously sent me her book GOT IT! in hopes of providing family caregivers with an additional resource.  I encourage them to seek out the resources that will help them to better manage their caregiving and am happy to share GOT IT! with them.